Susanne Schustin

Starting my career, I worked in global management consultancy. Nobody told you outright what to wear and how to act,yet we all aligned in looks and behaviour. We were bullet proof in our professionalism; sleek, no edges, controlled and razor sharp. My managers were almost all men. The partners: men. Performance cultures with 1:1, mid-year reviews, annual appraisals. Lots and lots of systematic opportunities to tell us how to improve. It wasn’t until many years later I saw the pattern –in the moment it was just one feedback session after another where my manager or the partner told me essentially what was wrong with me. How I was too much. Scared people. How, in the much later words of Taylor Swift, I needed to calm down. Me, then trying all sorts of effort to tone myself down. Until I was so bland, I really did not like myself anymore. So, when it finally dawned on me that they were primarily talking about themselves and all their feedback essentially were just opinions on how I as a women should behave in order for them to feel better and safe and in control, I just stopped trying and started being my authentic self. And tobe honest, that was when all good things started to happen. It turns out customers, employees, co-workers and bosses with fewer insecurities, are much more comfortable with people who are their authentic selves. Honest. Open. What-you-see-is-what-you-get actually makes people feel safe and want to follow you. Now I am over 50 with 3 decades of experience behind me, yet still I get mansplained or offered unsolicited career or behaviour advice. The pattern is so obvious and recognizable, I find it amusing. Luckily, this entitlement almost always belongs to men my generation and older and less to the men following in their footsteps.